THE RIGAMAROLE AND THE "SILLY HAOLE"
I hate the library.
Needed some books today for upcoming projects where the due date looms ever larger, so I traipse on in to pick up those books that I had already found on the computerized database so lovingly provided by the techno-wizzards of our esteemed third-tier institution.
Upon my arrival to the appropriate floor, ( kept at a book-preserving, chilly -3 degrees) I cannot find the book I am seeking. Every other manner of book along the lines of my subject matter (i.e., Hindi) is easily found, but my particular book is nowhere to be seen. I check the print-out once more to see if I mis-read the thing. Nope. It has not already been taken out. Just not here.
I am 0 for 1.
Next, I trek on up to the 5th floor to get another book which is in a "special" section. This section is for the "rare" and "valuable" books, somehow all concerend with only the Pacific. Why books on this area of the world should be treated differently from say, South America, is unknown to me. No doubt the rationale would astound.
I find my way into this unique little treasure-trove and announce my intention to handle one of their fine volumes and am informed that I may not interface in a direct way with the people behind the counter.
I am not permitted to hand them the call number of the book I want, I must go to a computer 10 feet away and, following the prompts in the on-line system, "request" my book from there. This vital information then travels across the vastness of cyber space, to descend upon those august individuals manning their duty stations so diligently - 10 feet away, informing them via computerese of this poor philistine's foolish desire for a book.
"Silly Haole, asking a person face-to-face is so mainland! Log on or kiss my okole!"
I am now 0 for 2.
I stumble over to the computer, dumbstruck at the idiocy, only to find myself stuck in a computerized Sisyphusian curse. I am told to "select" a book to request it. I select it and am told to "select" a book to request it. Perhaps I do not know the true meaning of "select"?
0 for 3.
I call the royal member of the library staff over to my computer for assistance. Somehow, she is able to accomplish my request. Now, she has given herself a request for a book that I want. She then goes over to her computer behind the desk and calls up her request that she just made. She then takes this request and prints it out. After this, she takes her freshly minted version of her request to herself into the back and, shortly thereafter, produces the heretofore mythical item.
But I can't have it.
0 for 4
Apparently, my card is dispreferred by the computer, which is now most probably angered at having had to process useless requests from brainless individuals who eat too much starch and wear too much perfume.
My card has not been "activated".
"But I have taken books out this semester already!" I stammer uselessly.
I must trek back downstairs to the circulation desk, a place where one would check out books, to activate my card so that I can return to the 5th floor - where I can then check out my harder-and-harder to get volume of Pacific greatness.
Upon arriving at the other checkout desk, I ask them to "activate" my card. As they are doing this, I ask why they don't do this when I "validate" my card on the other side of campus. I get a look like I am supposed to "get it" but don't. Apparently, one must be validated in one bulding and then be activated in another.
I feel devalued in both.
He then hands me a form to fill out.
I fill it out. It asks me the same questions it asked me the first three or more times I have done this. You see, this process must be repeated every semester. I pass it to the functionary.
He passes it back. I did not sign and date the other side.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After signing this all-important form, I then proceed with my validated and activated card back upstairs and take out the book I have now worked so hard to get.
1 for 5
I have accumulated some other books in my travels and ask that they too be checked out, being that I was at a checkout desk and he was still holding the magic scanning implement.
Nope. I must check these other, unworthy books out down at the checkout desk where I spent so much useful time before.
1 for 6
This is why I hate the library at my school.
Oh, and it turns out that the book which I was unable to locate in the stacks was actually IN the stacks, just in a different part of the building. I asked why a book on Hindi Phonology would be on a different floor from all the other books on Hindi Phonology.
There's that look again.
"Silly Haole!"
Needed some books today for upcoming projects where the due date looms ever larger, so I traipse on in to pick up those books that I had already found on the computerized database so lovingly provided by the techno-wizzards of our esteemed third-tier institution.
Upon my arrival to the appropriate floor, ( kept at a book-preserving, chilly -3 degrees) I cannot find the book I am seeking. Every other manner of book along the lines of my subject matter (i.e., Hindi) is easily found, but my particular book is nowhere to be seen. I check the print-out once more to see if I mis-read the thing. Nope. It has not already been taken out. Just not here.
I am 0 for 1.
Next, I trek on up to the 5th floor to get another book which is in a "special" section. This section is for the "rare" and "valuable" books, somehow all concerend with only the Pacific. Why books on this area of the world should be treated differently from say, South America, is unknown to me. No doubt the rationale would astound.
I find my way into this unique little treasure-trove and announce my intention to handle one of their fine volumes and am informed that I may not interface in a direct way with the people behind the counter.
I am not permitted to hand them the call number of the book I want, I must go to a computer 10 feet away and, following the prompts in the on-line system, "request" my book from there. This vital information then travels across the vastness of cyber space, to descend upon those august individuals manning their duty stations so diligently - 10 feet away, informing them via computerese of this poor philistine's foolish desire for a book.
"Silly Haole, asking a person face-to-face is so mainland! Log on or kiss my okole!"
I am now 0 for 2.
I stumble over to the computer, dumbstruck at the idiocy, only to find myself stuck in a computerized Sisyphusian curse. I am told to "select" a book to request it. I select it and am told to "select" a book to request it. Perhaps I do not know the true meaning of "select"?
0 for 3.
I call the royal member of the library staff over to my computer for assistance. Somehow, she is able to accomplish my request. Now, she has given herself a request for a book that I want. She then goes over to her computer behind the desk and calls up her request that she just made. She then takes this request and prints it out. After this, she takes her freshly minted version of her request to herself into the back and, shortly thereafter, produces the heretofore mythical item.
But I can't have it.
0 for 4
Apparently, my card is dispreferred by the computer, which is now most probably angered at having had to process useless requests from brainless individuals who eat too much starch and wear too much perfume.
My card has not been "activated".
"But I have taken books out this semester already!" I stammer uselessly.
I must trek back downstairs to the circulation desk, a place where one would check out books, to activate my card so that I can return to the 5th floor - where I can then check out my harder-and-harder to get volume of Pacific greatness.
Upon arriving at the other checkout desk, I ask them to "activate" my card. As they are doing this, I ask why they don't do this when I "validate" my card on the other side of campus. I get a look like I am supposed to "get it" but don't. Apparently, one must be validated in one bulding and then be activated in another.
I feel devalued in both.
He then hands me a form to fill out.
I fill it out. It asks me the same questions it asked me the first three or more times I have done this. You see, this process must be repeated every semester. I pass it to the functionary.
He passes it back. I did not sign and date the other side.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After signing this all-important form, I then proceed with my validated and activated card back upstairs and take out the book I have now worked so hard to get.
1 for 5
I have accumulated some other books in my travels and ask that they too be checked out, being that I was at a checkout desk and he was still holding the magic scanning implement.
Nope. I must check these other, unworthy books out down at the checkout desk where I spent so much useful time before.
1 for 6
This is why I hate the library at my school.
Oh, and it turns out that the book which I was unable to locate in the stacks was actually IN the stacks, just in a different part of the building. I asked why a book on Hindi Phonology would be on a different floor from all the other books on Hindi Phonology.
There's that look again.
"Silly Haole!"
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