...Now What?
A new year dawns sleepily for me, as I try to work out the kinks in my dinged-up resume and psyche. I'm trying to find work again - in the same field I've been in for years now, and I have had to do some work to deal with the trauma of the past 5 years. I have a miniscule form of PTSD, I think, because whenever I think of work or graduate school, I mentally and sometimes actually wince at the pain it still brings. I know I need to get past this, so I try to remind myself that this place is going to be as different from the old place as the old place was different from Boston. This has helped a bit, and I have polished up the ol' resume and even bought a fancy new laser printer to make me look spiffy, even if I feel like a failing phony. Here I am, 35 years old, with years of teaching and doctoral study under my belt, and yet I feel worthless and idiotic most of the time. Graduate school really knocked me around, especially the way I was treated by the faculty. I had t