The Central Contradiction of My Past


I recently discovered my father's brothers and sisters, and this discovery has brought into sharp relief the difficult fact that of my split Catholic/Protestant heritage.
My Dad grew up the son of a Catholic woman, but he hated the Catholic Church. He married my mother, who was a Catholic, and I was baptized a Catholic as a baby. I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness, but I have always identified with the Catholic Irish cause for self-governance. Ironic, since JW is a form of Protestantism.
Now I find out that my biological grandfather was English, very Protestant, and went on to marry a Protestant lady in Londonderry, Northern Ireland.
So let us recap:
I grew up JW/Protestant, though I was baptised Catholic, and I am an Agnostic, but I am in favor of a free Ireland and ambivalent about Northern Ireland. My Mom was a Catholic, her dad was one, and her mom was one. As a matter of fact, my Grandfather came from a background of French Heugenots! Anyway, my Dad's mom was a catholic, but my Dad's dad was a Protestant (until he converted to Catholicism late in life). My grampa's side must have hated my Nana's side, which must've contributed to their divorce. Hell, my Grampa's mom was a Lutheran, so we are talking VERY Protestant vs. VERY Catholic.
So where does this leave me? I grew up thinking we were on the Catholic side of the Troubles, that we were against the English. Now I discover that we were on both sides of it. I am English. I am Irish. I am Scottish. I am Welsh.
What a genetic mess!
I guess, at the end of the day, I am relieved that I am an American in 2015, where I do not have to worry about my religious or ethnic affiliation, but when I go back to the home countries, I will be confronted by a reality that still exists and harshly so in some areas.
How will I identify?
Honestly: I am an American Agnostic whose ethnic and religious background spans Great Britain, Ireland, and most of Western Europe.
Better to be a Yank and have all of these things than to have to take sides in an ancient and tired fight based on dead people's beliefs that keep getting recycled to the present day.

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