Kika


Sometimes I rummage through the past. I pick out the old pieces and think about what hasn't been in . . .

Who I was.
Who I became.
Who I have become.
What I lost.
And I realize I rode for more than the reason I had placed before me.
And I went down.
From my hubris.
My abdication.
Some things that I have felt.
That I have been
Never could change.
And the road that came after was always
harder than I imagined it could be.

So now "the springtime of my life's time" has turned the other way.
And then some.
And I have gone on and lost and lost and gained as well.
And I see my journey was more
a drifting
towards an uncertain future.
Pleasure, pain, anger, and the lot,
I have endured, carried, and laid down.
Because I simply decided to let it go.
But ever so less often,
things come back to haunt me, in that old familiar way.
And I realize
My old addiction is still here.
Here to stay.

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