The Bostonian Abroad

-- The recent slap in the face is still smarting. Judgement of the kind forced upon me is very painful. I am entirely against hurting people, and this way of doing so is the most deplorable, since education is supposed to help, not hurt. Everything I learned as a teacher tells me that what happened to me, what routinely happens to students in my position is wrong. Teaching a subject without teaching about how to teach is irresponsible. The result is the kind of hurtful system to which I have been subjected. What's more is the insulting way in which those in positions of power treat those deemed less than the powerful. The arrogance I have seen is still stunning to me. It is hurtful and it is unjustifiable. It serves as a reminder of how not to be, both as a teacher and as a person. I shall struggle on, but now, with anger and contempt in my heart. I no longer enjoy this path, but I must persevere. Out of spite, I suppose, I shall continue. Having struggled so ha...

-- On the way home today, I lost my temper at a driver who was, in my view, driving like a jerk. I did the old, Masshole routine of tailgating, high-beams on. When she went to turn left, she slowed down to a complete stop and diagonally blocked the road. I laid on the horn, and a good deal of not-too-good words were exchanged, fingers punctuating the dialogue. I felt really bad about it immediately after it ended. I had lost my temper yet again drove dangerously, endangered my wife's safety, beat on my nice, new car, and screamed like a nut-case. Shameful. Why do I get so angry? Why do I feel so out of control sometimes? I swear that sometimes the stress I feel is so intolerable, it threatens to snap my fragile mental state. Work, school, commuting, isolation, culture shock, money worries - these all gang up on me in my head, and I feel like I'm going to lose it completely. So, on my way back to campus this afterneoon, bearing my former angry state in mind, I took 3...