The Bostonian Abroad

Going to be lost in words soon. Their towering importance will cast me into profoundest shadow! The words of scholars shall fill up my head to leafy suffocation! These scholars purport to know, and purport to know more than all the other scholars who came before, including the ones they quote and agree with - to a point. What comes before is always the basis of future refutation. The secret to success in filling others' heads with my words is to buld my refutation on the works of others. I'm learning! The desire is the thing. This environment is lethal to it. It isn't a direct result of the balmy climate; it's the isolation. A million or more people all isolated together. The distance from reality is stunning, and there is a limit to the amount of unreality one can witness before becoming purposefully unaware - for that is an effective way out, when stuck within the nutshell that is this place. Actually, it is an enigma, wrapped in a coconut, shoved ...

The latest round of events has me at a crossroads. I am different from the majority, and this fact is very troubling, since, in my view, the majority is heading towards irrationality on a grand scale. The events by which we measure our current history compared to our "blissful" and "decadent" past have altered the popular thought and made it reactionary and fear-based. The rage which provides fuel for current actions and opinions is most troubling of all in that the weapons of this rage are so much more serious than in previous epochs. As ever, I fear that we have disinherited our place in the grander scheme, and we are doing everything to seal our fates with those of our saurian predecessors. I suppose the only thing to do now is fret uselessly, biology taunting us to the bitter end. Or perhaps I could join the growing theocracy and, through its opiation, obviate my own consciousness? Sorry, this is as yet impossible. "Joining"is anathemic to ...

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LET'S GO RED SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am living in the unreality of a Red Sox World Series win! Something that generations of Red Sox fans have waited for, Prayed for, hoped for - and never saw! I was down at Murphy's Pub in Downtown Honolulu, surrounded by my fellow citizens of Red Sox Nation, chanting, shouting, screaming, praying, and thinking, "10 more outs," then down to "1 more strike!" When we Won it all, the entire bar erupted in unmeasurable glee, as Bostonians abroad like me, and fans from around New England and the world screamed their lungs out, hugged each other, high-fived, and, in my case, fell to their knees and sobbed like babies! Such total bliss is utterly unforgettable! I say "WE won" because I believe our hopes and dreams gave energy to the cause. We Reversed the Curse!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GO RED SOX!!!!...

I told myself I wouldn't get sucked in again, but here I am, wholeheartedly in love with my long-suffering team! I've decided that I am ready to love again. I went into the NY series with the resignation that I would rise or fall with the Red Sox and I have been amazed beyond belief. Now, I stand with millions of other New Englanders, long-suffering Boston Red Sox fans all, and I hope; I believe again!!!! We can do it if we don't give up! GO RED SOX!!!!!!

In order to be tidy and somewhat well-organized, I began to place receipts of all kinds in a shoebox. Soon, the box was full, and I needed another one. Not long afterwards, I started putting other memorable items in there, such as photo negatives, a bracelet gift I had never given, an old wallet in which I had scrawled numbers of people I no longer know, the odd stone from here or there (I have the odd habit of pickinbg up a stone or two in my travels and keeping it as a token of memory), and people's business cards. These boxes piled up higher and higher, until one day my wife said she had had enough of the clutter. I had to go through these overstuffed time-capsules and figure out what could or should be thrown away. I sat down on the floor next to the kitchen trash can and set to work cleaning out the deadwood of my past. A Coke receipt from a bike trip I had taken from Lynn to Boston in 1982. An old and crinkled ticket stub to "Cadillac Man" in 1990. A r...

-- The Prelim exam has been attempted once more. Unprepared, I took it as a practice run for the real one in January. I do not expect to do well. As before, it did not seem as horrifying as I had feared. This summer was taken up in repair of the self. This was necessary after the breakdown of the spring. A new way of looking at it was needed, and I think I've started to build one. That perspective I had lost is starting to return to me. I don't feel stuck anymore. I don't feel doomed. I can do this; it's just going to take time.

-- I knew Tom and Eileen. We served together in the Peace Corps. They were among those I considered to be my best friends in Peace Corps Fiji.On many occasions, Tom and Eileen stayed at my place in Suva when they came into town from their teaching stint at Sigatoka Methodist School to do PC business, catch a movie and maybe get a bite at the golden arches. They were just like the rest of us PCV's. They went through the challenges of Peace Corps life and were open and honest about their experiences.They were, like me, healthily cynical and had a great sense of humor. When I found out about what had happened to them, I was beyond shocked. To see their PC ID's on CNN was something I was totally unprepared for.Over subsequent months and years, I have heard all of the ridiculous things said about Tom and Eileen, and I know that it would make their eyes roll at the self-serving nature of it all.Tom and Eileen were two of the most wonderful, vivacious, adventurous, and gener...